Hotel reviews. 

Birkenhead Villa, Hermanus, South Africa.

My, does this establishment come with some big credentials and enthusiastic reviews; we just had to tick this one off the list.

The house was ‘party booked’ during our stay - we stayed in the more modern ‘Villa’ next door – which meant that most of the facilities in that building were out of bounds, this made things a little restrictive.

The only room available when we booked was 2a & 2b; (2b shown above) two identical rooms, with a sliding wall divider. So, we had 2 bathrooms, 2 - short - beds, 2 minibars, etc, etc. What we didn’t have – which all the other rooms have – was a balcony, or terrace, or much of a view. We also had a shower in the bath that was so powerful – and the shower screen was so small – it flooded the bathroom and sprayed water everywhere. We had laundry problems, staff problems, pillowcases with holes and rips, hit-and-miss food, and we found our previously locked bedroom door was wide open when we returned from a trip. There was no explanation given. When we had had enough and complained, the assistant manager, Corinne, was horrified and went out of her way to rectify matters.

Room 1 – which is the best in the villa, and pictured above, with a sunset view from the bedroom – was now vacant and they insisted, even though it was our last night that we sleep in there. When we came up after dinner there were rose petals and lighted tea-lights on the floor, a bottle of champagne on ice and a complimentary bottle of red wine. It looked really pretty; it was a very nice gesture. So not the best review in the world, I’m afraid.

Tip; the accents from most of the British residents would not have been out of place in the Raj, old boy, what!

African Oceans Manor Hotel, South Africa.

‘African Oceans’ are two large houses in an upmarket, well-tended residential area, right on the Indian Ocean, in sleepy Mossel Bay, halfway along the ‘garden route’. Board is ‘B & B’ only. Our accommodation – not in the main house where breakfast is served - is in the form of apartments; there were two in our house, with a huge kitchen - with barbeque of course - and lounge, downstairs, and a pool table, and dining area, leading to a small terrace and small pool. It was quite unique, and it certainly had its advantages if you want to relax, eat in or out, and have your own space. Breakfast was very well prepared – no smoothies though - and the staff very cheery and welcoming. The majority of residents were German and there seemed to be more European accents in this area compared to others in the Cape.

Tip; the ‘Cattle Barons’ restaurant in the shopping mall ½ a mile away was suburb. The best ribs and steaks we have tasted in a long time. There is another one in Hermanus, if you are down that way and like your meat, it’s a must!

Constantia Uitsig, Constantia, South Africa.

The Uitsig is one of the established wineries on the Constantia wine route, which has not one, but two, world-class restaurants in its grounds; Constantia Uitsig and La Colombe. It has its own cricket oval and pavilion, which is rather charming, and the gardens are lush with some spectacular specimen trees.

Our ‘Victorian’ room was large and comfortable, and prettily dressed, with a large 4-poster, however, one of the first things you notice on the left wall as you walk in, is a metre-long crack! Some of the fittings in the large bathroom have seen better days, and, as there is only one window – which is also your main door – the drone of the fan every time the light was turned on was annoying; as were the stone-chipping paths, that are everywhere, an absolute nightmare if you are in a nice pair of heeled shoes.

If you want to use your laptop, internet is chargeable, which really is unacceptable.

La Colombe restaurant was out of this world. Knowing its reputation, I had booked well ahead – an overheard conversation at breakfast confirmed that other Uitsig residents, who hadn’t booked, couldn’t get in on any night of their weeks stay – and was so glad I did. We choose the five course menu – you can have seven courses - which also gave their wine selection for each course. It has to be the best meal we have ever had in all our travels, for the depth of flavour, quality of ingredients, presentation, wine choice, service, we could not fault a thing.

Tip; even if you don’t stay at Constantia Uitsig and are visiting Cape Town, La Colombe should be on your ‘must experience’ list, just don’t forget to book early.

The Blue Train, Cape Town - Pretoria.

We had to get back to Johannesburg somehow, so why not do it in style with an overnight on the Blue Train, South Africa’s answer to the Orient Express. Cabins or ‘suites’, are as you would expect, small but perfectly formed – just don’t have an argument with your companion, there is nowhere to hide – with grand fittings, plush robes and an on-call butler. The staff and wonderful, cheerful and eager to please and the food – considering the limitations, and the movement, of the train was very tasty. You will either be able to sleep or you won’t. The fact that the train is constantly doing 100kms, all night, and the noise and movement that goes with this - and the small ‘double’ bed - didn’t do much for our sleep pattern.

The excursion to Aquila game reserve was well worth to come within a metre of two loose – but with their handlers - cheetahs to study and take pictures of these beautiful animals was amazing.

Tip; a great experience, but one night is enough!